How I Met My Partner: Pervien Dastur Says 'Shahrukh Asked, Will You Carry Me? I Heard, Will You Marry Me'

Pervien Dastur, who played the coquettish vamp in the blockbuster hit Maine Pyar Kiya (1989), talks about her real-life ‘Maine Pyar Kiya’ with Shahrukh Sirus Irani, the model and theatre actor. “I know two Shahrukhs — the actor with whom I worked in Ahmaq (1991; he wasn’t a star yet) and Shahrukh, my boyfriend, who I dated for 10 years before tying the knot.” She chirpily adds, “Both are gentlemen and have an infectious sense of humour.”

Q. How did you meet your husband Shahrukh?

A. Shahrukh met me when I was 14 and he was 15. He would visit my residential colony to play games and a mutual friend introduced us. Later, once I joined KC College, I discovered that he was attending the neighbouring HR College. Shahrukh was a very sweet boy, but I never ever thought of him in a romantic manner. One day, he asked me: ‘My sister’s friend is having a party. Would you like to come with me?’After that date, I decided I don’t want to go around with this guy. He’s too sweet. I wanted to bounce him, but the next day, when I got out of my house, he was sitting right opposite and waving a big ‘Hi’. There’s no way I could ignore him. He started going to the gym and making his body and — oh my God! — there was a write-up in a newspaper naming him as one of the ten most handsome guys in Mumbai. They called him a Greek god and one of the most eligible bachelors.

Q. Did he bring anything for you on your first date?

A. No. But I must tell you, he was quite romantic. At that time, my parents were based in Trinidad and Tobago, while my sister and I stayed with my grandma in Mumbai. When I went to visit my parents for three months, he wrote me letters saying, ‘Please come back soon.’ And then he just decided to fly there! We had a lovely time.

Q. Was he insecure once your film Maine Pyar Kiya became a huge hit?

A. Shahrukh was a very sought-after model in the ‘90s, so I don’t think there was any question of him being insecure. Colgate to Coke to Sprite. From chips to cars and coffees to bikes — you name it and he had done it. He was definitely a bigger model than what I would ever be — I had done a couple of ads. And he also used to act with me on stage. Neither of us were insecure.

Q. Who proposed?

A. Actually, neither of us proposed marriage. We had been going around for over 10 years and finally my mom asked why we didn’t just get married. I said, “But where will we stay?” My mom responded that we could stay with them. And that was it. We lived with my parents when we got married. His parents were living in a joint family and there was no way I was going to live there. Whenever somebody asks Shahrukh how he proposed, he always jokes: “I asked her ‘Will you carry me?’ But she thought I had said ‘Will you marry me?’”

Q. Did you invite your Maine Pyar Kiya friends to your wedding?

A. Yes, I did invite Salman, Bhagyashree, and Surajji (Barjatya, the director). Salman couldn’t make it because he was shooting out of town. Bhagyashree sent me a very sweet congratulatory note. Surajji and Rajkumarji did attend my wedding.

Q. Is he a supportive husband?

A. We’ve both supported each other in our careers. He has been like a rock — always coming for my auditions and to meetings. When I was flying with Air India for 15 years, he would take care of the kids.

Q. Do you believe in not letting a fight continue into the next day?

A. I have slept over a fight when we were just married. As we matured, we both feel there is no point in fighting. If something irritates either me or him, we will tell each other. It’s okay to disagree over certain things and let the other person do it their way. Now we rarely fight.

Q. How has your relationship changed?

A. Our relationship hasn’t changed. We’ve just both grown older together, which is nice. We still have that comfort level. Of course, when we were younger, we used to party a lot more and we were more volatile. Now we like to stay at home and watch a movie or order some food. Sometimes we go for dinner... just the two of us, now that our children are abroad. It’s a very easy-going, happy relationship.

Q. Who is more short-tempered?

A. Shahrukh. He gets agitated over little things. I am the cooler one.

Love for you is... Growing up together and getting to know each other. We have two beautiful daughters, Genevive and Kyra, who are abroad, so now it's just the two of us living life exactly the way we like it.

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