It was 23 years ago when I did my first TV serial. It became hugely popular but I remember the first day of the shoot so vividly. The set was teeming with people. I was ready with make-up at 7 am, and my turn came at 2 am!

I enthusiastically did my touch-up, re-memorised my lines and gave my all to that first shot. Having had an extensive theatre background, I was sure I would nail my performance in the first take itself. As I finished the monologue, there was silence and then, hushed conversations. I could sense something was not right. I stood there waiting. Finally, an assistant came up and said: “We need to get you a wig.” I was stunned.

“The channel executive,” he said, “feels that since you are playing a positive character, you shouldn’t have short hair. Only negative girls have short hair.” I was confused — positive, negative? I thought those were words used only for magnets! I was sent back to the make-up room. I sat quietly as the team members rummaged through the Dress Dada’s tin box trying to find a spare wig.

I kept mulling over the words: positive or good girls don’t have short hair. Really? I’ve had short hair since I was in school. Many stylists did try to convince me to grow my hair, but I always refused, laughingly saying that this was what made me unique.

Thankfully, I never succumbed to my stylists’ pressure, and over the years, perceptions of channels did start to change. I did many more serials, ad films, music videos…. and yes, I do believe I stood out because of my talent and looks — namely, my short hair.

Lesson 1: There can be no one standard of beauty. I’m short in stature, don’t have sharp features, in fact one of my cousins would tease me by calling me ‘Pichki naak’. There you go, we may blame the film and television industry, but actually the pressures are everywhere.

It starts when you are young, and I feel that’s fine! It’s part of growing up. A little bit of bullying by friends and family only toughens you and strengthens your character. It’s like the vaccine, which contains a small dose  of the disease itself, so your body learns to fight it off on its own.

It’s life’s job to put pressures on you, beauty or whatever else. It’s your job to develop resilience. It’s difficult, but not impossible.

Lesson 2: If you believe in yourself, the world believes in you. In my acting career, I noticed that even the conventionally pretty girls were plagued with doubts. They somehow managed to find something or the other that was amiss in their looks. Recently, I came across a mythological name, ‘Anasuya’ —  ‘one who does not dwell in faults’. We like to believe that the pressure is from the outside world, but in reality it’s inside us. I’m the one who’s focused on my flaws.

In TV parlance, we use the words ‘shift focus’. When the camera lens shifts focus, all that’s unnecessary goes into the background, and  only the thing that I need to focus on comes to the foreground. And then, the foreground is the only thing that the world sees. Can I shift my mind’s lens? It is difficult, but not impossible.

In the world of interiors, a Japanese term has recently come into prominence: Wabi Sabi. It’s a concept that finds beauty in imperfection. Twenty years back, anything broken or flawed would be rejected, but today in interiors and even in fashion, anything worn out, torn, or anything out of the usual is considered unique.

The fashion and interior designers of the world have convinced us that there is beauty in imperfection. Then why haven’t the upholders of the beauty business seen the value of this concept yet? Or maybe, it’s we who don’t want to.