A psychologist underlines ‘lifetraps’ that make romantic relationships inhospitable for women

The term “lifetrap” originates from the Schema theory coined by Dr Jeffrey Young who pronounced that lifetraps create a belief system in such a way that you are attracted towards someone unsuitable because they replay your core conflict over and over again. Yet, you move towards them because you don’t recognise anything different, ending up in heartbreak almost every time.

As a therapist, I ensure that even before I begin my work, I take my clients through a detailed assessment of their personalities and lifetraps. Over the years, I have gained adequate insights and data, allowing me to study patterns in these findings. What I have learnt from these studies is that three lifetraps are most operational in toxic relationships – emotional deprivation, abandonment and self-sacrifice.

Emotional deprivation

A 45-year-old woman, Gitanjali, is the picture of confidence. While she loves her job and the perks of corporate life, she feels terrible about herself, as despite her attempts, she fails to get the love she desires. When she was a child, her father was always distant and unaffectionate. She spent her entire childhood trying to win a warm smile or a hug from him. When she grew up, she kept falling for distant men who...

Read more

News