There Were Days I Would Judge Myself So Much That I Wouldn’t Talk To My Wife Or Sleep Next To Her Go To The Other Room, Says Actor Gagan Arora (Exclusive)

The last time I checked Gagan Arora’s Instagram handle, he had a peculiar number of followers — 666k, literally the number of the devil. Which is ironic, considering one of his recent projects was Khauff, a supernatural series which could be said to be the best in the genre.

The first time I noticed him was in Madhuri Dixit’s The Fame Game, which deserves a second season, but reports suggest there may not be one. In it, Gagan played an obsessive lover which gave throwback vibes of SRK in Darr, so if you haven’t seen it, do check it out if you agree with the analogy.

More recently, he was part of Lafangey, about a group of friends — a complete change from the kind of projects he has been part of before.

To know more about him and his journey, The Free Press Journal asked Gagan a number of questions: Excerpts:

Q. Your career as an actor, smooth sailing, or were there struggles? Tell us about them.

A. I had an amazing start for sure; my first project ever was a huge success and that kind of catapulted me into thinking that it was going to be smooth sailing forever — extremely naive of me. Of course, that wasn’t the case. My constant struggles have been to not get typecast and do similar sorts of roles, for which I go through long periods without doing anything, just saying no to similar characters, which can be very frustrating at times.

Q. You almost declined Jewel Thief, why? And what made you sign back on?

A. The idea has always been to do parts which contribute to the script, and initially, after my first read, I thought the character wasn’t contributing much to the script. But fortunately for me, I ran into Sidharth Anand sir at a restaurant, and we started talking. Once we talked about Jewel Thief, he reassured me about some things which changed my mind, and I am really happy I ran into him because it was an amazing project to be a part of.

Q. Khauff sees you play a pretty dark character. Do these roles affect you in real life?

A. It’s a yes and no for me. Initially, I had a hard time getting accustomed to it. As an actor, I come from a school of thought where I need to justify any action that I am doing on screen — be it good, bad, or ugly — and not judge the character that I am playing like, “Oh, he is such a dark character.”

“So what used to happen was that I used to sit down and find my justifications. Then when I found some, I would judge myself thinking, “In some part of your brain, do you think doing this to a woman is justified? What kind of a human being am I?” Then I would recollect myself again, start finding justifications, and get stuck in the same loop. There would be days that I judged myself so much that I decided not to talk to my wife or sleep next to her; I would go to the other room. I would feel so disgusted by the thought process of this character and me finding justifications for it. But as the schedule went ahead, I got better at handling it. Yes, it was a new and tougher journey for sure.

Q. Anything you would want to add about Lafangey?

A. Lafangey came as a breath of fresh air. In this sea of content on crime, murder, thrillers, it’s something that will take you back to your days where you grew up, your roots. It’s a journey of middle-class boys becoming men — how life treats people with no privilege, how everyone doesn’t get a chance. It’s about the journey of three boys who, even after all their hard work, just aren’t making it, and hence society calls them Lafangey.

Q. What age did you get married at? People questioned you for getting married early, why? And what’s your take on it?

A. I got married at 28. I feel sad for the people who question my decision for getting married early because anyone who has experienced love wouldn’t question my decision. She’s been with me when I was a nobody, and it’s mostly because of her that I think I have become a somebody. I think, let alone being a better actor, I become a better human being every day that I spend with her. And if me being a bachelor was the reason that I was getting work, then I should not have been getting work. I trust my craft and my work ethics to get me work, not my marital status.

Q. Anything else you would want to add?

A. When I look back at my journey, I feel like I am living a middle-class boy’s dream. With no connections from the industry, I have reached where I couldn’t have even dreamt of reaching 6-7 years ago. So anyone who is sitting in a middle-class house and questioning about doing what they like, if I can do it, so can you.

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