‘Sexual Life Pleasurable If Couple Understands Each Other’s Needs’

My wife is 38 year old. She agrees to sex only once a week whereas I need it more often. How do I induce her more often?

—NS, Santa Cruz

One deserves a healthy, pleasurable sex life and wishes to have the honeymoon phase last forever. Initial days of intimacy and attraction, which were natural, gradually followed with low and high phases due to work or family stress, monotonous daily routine, illness, or interpersonal struggles. With time, sexual passion sometimes decreases, leading to less desire. Commonest reason may be her sexual appetite is less, and she is satisfied with ‘once-a-week’. If you wish to have more sex, you need to focus on emotional connection with her. To spice up your bedroom life, you must have an honest and clear relationship where she feels respected. Be empathetic to her as a friend without judging her. Spend time personally talking and listening to her. Who knows better than you about what she likes. Understand her sex needs; create an environment exploring her in fun ways like playing sex-related bedroom games, watching her favourite romantic movies, and trying new positions. More the foreplay... more the pleasure.

My husband, who is 36 years old, insists on anal sex which I find humiliating. How can I change his preference?

—NM, Goregaon West

Sex life is pleasurable to both only if the couple understands each other’s needs, likes, and dislikes. Respecting boundaries is essential for a healthy, longterm relationship in married life. If your partner wants to have anal sex and you feel humiliated, please say ‘no’. You will cause emotional harm to yourself by giving in. Sit across and talk it over rather than closing yourself. Express how you feel about it without getting defensive or rude. Understand that each one has their own fantasies. Men usually watch pornographic material and wish to have sex as shown or maybe just wanting to give it a try. Open conversation works best here. If he loves and respects you, he will understand your feelings. But you need to speak up.

Am engaged to a 24-yearold girl and the marriage is due in October. The problem is that my penis is very small even when erect. Am not confident of having proper intercourse. Is it possible to medically elongate my penis?

—JP Andheri

No, it is not medically possible to elongate the penis. Sexual excitement is the only natural way to increase penis size temporarily. No medicines are required. While there are medicines and gadgets available in the market claiming to do so, worrying about penis size is damaging. Constantly thinking about it can interfere with erections, performance, and overall sexual pleasure. The length, width, girth, and stiffness of the penis vary depending on external temperature, psychological factors like self-doubt and spectatoring, and the level of sexual excitement. The sooner you understand that size is not important – for either a man’s or a woman’s sexual satisfaction – the better. Don’t waste your time and money chasing an unrealistic goal to increase penis size. A bigger or thicker penis is neither better nor sexier. Get rid of the false belief that having a long, hard penis means better sex. How you love and perform matters much more. Women are not attracted to penis size; they are drawn to personality, connection, and emotional chemistry. How you use your brain, your hands, your mouth, and everything else; that’s what really counts in the bedroom.

You can read more on mydoctortells.com/penis-size

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