How vibe matters more than stars in modern matchmaking

For decades, marriage in India followed a familiar path- horoscopes were matched, caste and community were carefully considered, and family backgrounds often took precedence over personality. But in 2025, the concept of a successful match is evolving. Today, emotional connection and personal chemistry, referred to as “the vibe” by many, are becoming just as important as traditional factors.

The rise of matrimonial apps, dating platforms and a move towards nuclear families have redefined how Indians look for love and lifelong partners. These days, it’s the individuals, not their parents, driving the decision.

“I remember a case where everything was perfect on paper — education, background, family, everything matched,” recalls Bhavna Dhingra, CEO of Wedgate, a marriage bureau in Delhi that’s been running for over 18 years. “Both families were excited. But when the girl met the guy, she just said, ‘Feel nahi aa raha’. That was it and the match ended.”

Recalling similar situations, she added, “People today want to feel understood. They want to click with someone.”

This transition from compatibility to connection also points towards a shift in cultural dynamics.

Traditionally, arranged marriages involved introductions made through family, friends, or trusted community networks. Today, with urbanisation, and small social circles, people are turning to both online apps and offline bureaus instead.

However, this new landscape has its own challenges. Gaurav, a 35-year-old engineer, has been searching for a partner on various matrimonial platforms for over five years.

“There’s a serious lack of authenticity,” says Gaurav, 35, who has been using matrimonial apps for over five years. “With AI tools and filters, people build these picture-perfect profiles. But when you actually talk to them, it often falls apart. Most of the women I’ve interacted with have long checklists—salary, appearance, lifestyle—but are not willing to compromise or invest in building something real.”

His experience isn’t unique. A 2024 report revealed that nearly two in three users on matrimonial and dating platforms in India have never met their matches in person, with many citing concerns over safety, ghosting, and the authenticity of profiles.

After years of navigating the digital maze, many people eventually turn back to old-school matchmaking. Bhavna sees it happen all the time. “They come to us after trying online for five years or more,” she says. “They’re tired and that’s when we step in. Not just by finding potential matches but by listening, checking for red flags, sometimes by even offering counselling and grooming sessions.”

At Wedgate, parents or siblings often approach first. A preference form is filled, expectations laid out, and then Bhavna’s team quietly becomes the bridge between two families.

But matchmaking offline isn’t without its own pressures. Bhavna notes that elite, successful men often find it difficult to get sincere responses, while women, particularly over 30, face limited options due to societal perceptions about age and marital readiness.

“Girls tend to have more specific expectations,” Bhavna explains. “They want a partner who’s emotionally supportive, financially stable, shares values and they stay firm on their stand. On the other hand, men often hesitate to consider women who are older or who don’t have a defined lifestyle or passion.”

While full-blown catfishing is rare, many individuals are still misled by exaggerated portrayals of lifestyles online. Natasha, 32, shared her experience, “A lot of people use AI-enhanced images or carefully curated Instagram-style profiles. They appear well-travelled or wealthy, but it’s often far from the truth. You only realise the difference after meeting or sometimes, you never do because they ghost you before that.”

Amit, 36, who eventually found his partner on a matrimonial app, said it was persistence and open communication that helped him succeed. “After being ghosted so many times, I didn’t expect much. But then I found someone who didn’t play games. We talked honestly and it just clicked.”

For today’s generation, finding a life partner is less about convenience and more about emotional compatibility. They’re not just looking for someone who matches them — they’re searching for someone who feels right.

Delhi