The Untold Truth of Early Motherhood: 5 Indian Women Share Raw, Real Stories
At 4 am, the world outside is fast asleep. But for 26-year-old Merlin Prescilla in Chennai, the night has barely begun. Her nine-month-old son, Francis Methuselah, is awake again, his tiny cries piercing the silence. She’s exhausted but alert, rocking him gently, her eyes heavy from yet another broken night of sleep.
“You can’t sleep properly,” she says. “I have to be awake when he is, and I have to be cautious.”
This is the reality of early motherhood — relentless, emotional, and often invisible. It’s a time when days blur into nights, when small victories feel monumental, and when love coexists with uncertainty, guilt, and sheer physical exhaustion.
From breastfeeding battles and postpartum depression to the societal expectations of ‘bouncing back,’ five South Indian women open up about the messy but beautiful chaos of being a new mother — and the people who kept them afloat.
‘No one told me it would be this hard’
The romanticised image of motherhood — glowing smiles, cuddly babies, and picture-perfect moments — rarely captures the tough, tangled first months after delivery.
For Merlin, the first thing that caught her off-guard wasn’t sleepless nights or even breastfeeding — it was something far simpler. “I didn’t know how to put a diaper on my baby,” she recalls. “Everything felt new and weird. I was stressed, and I couldn’t even lactate the first day.”
Pearl Porshi Arockiaraj, a 25-year-old mother from Thanjavur, echoes the sentiment. “Honestly, I still feel like a baby while navigating this motherhood,” she shares. After her C-section, Pearl was entirely dependent on others for weeks. “Being physically dependent made me mentally weak. But my family, especially my husband, was my ultimate pillar of support.”
For Anu Sara John (27) from Kerala, the emotional weight of sleep deprivation was a shock. “It was brutal,” she says. “I wasn’t prepared for the emotional rollercoaster. I felt like I was losing my identity, but support from my family helped me stay grounded.”
The village that holds you
In a world where new mothers are often expected to bounce back and carry on, the importance of a strong support system cannot be overstated. For Cicilla Cyril (33), a Bengaluru-based entrepreneur and mother of 11-month-old Wesley Cyril D’Souza, the community she found in fellow mothers was life-changing.
“You need a village to raise a child, and I got very lucky,” she says. “My best friends were going through the same journey. I could text them at 3 am with the most random questions or just to complain. It’s so important to have that community — nobody understands you like they do.”
Anu Sara was not prepared for how sleep-deprived she would be. Picture credit: Anu Sara John.
In most of the stories shared, family, especially partners, emerged as the backbone. Pearl’s husband ensures she gets her “me time” every day. Agnes Judith, a 26-year-old from Coimbatore, recalls how her mother nursed her through the agonising pain following a C-section. “For nearly a month, I couldn’t bathe or use the restroom on my own. My mother held my hand through it all.”
In Anu’s case, her family went a step further, often prioritising her mental and physical health over the baby’s. “They bring the baby to me for feeding, but otherwise, they make sure I get rest. I felt truly seen and cared for.”
When the baby comes, are mothers forgotten?
There’s a moment many new mothers dread — when the excitement around the pregnancy fades, and all eyes turn to the baby. “Even on a video call, my own family is more excited to see the baby,” Merlin shares. “Very few ask how I am doing, even my husband forgets at times.” It’s a silent shift that can feel isolating.
Cicilla puts it more starkly: “When you’re pregnant, everyone is gaga over you. But the minute the baby is out, you realise you were just a vessel. What follows is a series of harrowing incidents — milk shaming, being blamed for anything that goes wrong with your infant.”
Pearl doesn’t recall any one moment — instead, she says the feeling pervades daily life. “With respect to each and everything in the day-to-day life, my baby is prioritised more than I, and I’m more than happy for it being that way.”
The pressure to ‘bounce back’
Whether it’s shedding baby weight or returning to work with a smile, the pressure on new mothers to “bounce back” is very real, even when no one explicitly says it. Merlin compares herself to other mothers on social media. “I see them going on vacations with their babies, wearing stylish clothes. But for me, it’s all very difficult. I haven’t regained the confidence to wear what I used to.”
Cicilla now identifies as a mother first, which makes her happy. Picture credit: Cicilla Cyril.
Agnes Judith, on the other hand, found her own rhythm. “I lost 12 kgs in seven months, but I didn’t stress. Just followed the simple exercises my doctor suggested and took care of my baby alone. Writing down my feelings helped too, it made me realise that a lot of what I was going through was hormonal, not anyone’s fault.”
For others like Anu and Pearl, the pressure didn’t hit as hard. “Bouncing back should be a personal choice,” Pearl says. “I started working out after six months, when I felt ready.” Anu’s family ensured her journey was free from unrealistic expectations. “They always supported me at my pace.”
A new self, or a lost one?
Motherhood undeniably changes women, but how it alters their sense of self varies. For Cicilla, it’s been a complete transformation. “I now identify as a mum first, followed by everything else. It’s a privilege to raise my boy.”
Pearl, however, confesses to feeling like a shadow of her former self. “I miss that young spirit and energy. I also feel like an amnesia patient — not able to recall things easily. I’ve become so conscious of what I say, eat, and do.”
Merlin is happy and blessed to be a mother. Picture source: Merlin Prescilla.
Merlin finds her balance by continuing to do the things she loved before. “That keeps my identity intact,” she says. Judy feels stronger than ever. “Motherhood made me love myself more. I feel there’s nothing in this world that can take me down now.”
Messages to their new selves
On this Mother’s Day, these women look back with honesty and heart. “Trust the process,” Pearl says. “Don’t force yourself to follow traditions unless you truly believe in them.”
“You’re doing great,” Agnes would tell herself. “This is just the beginning. It’s an investment in your future happiness.” “You’re amazing,” Anu adds. “You’re a superstar. You’re already an incredible mum.”
Each of these mothers paints a unique picture of early motherhood — messy, magical, and anything but one-size-fits-all. They speak of pain, love, frustration, joy, and above all, strength.
As Cicilla puts it: “It’s going to be hard, very hard. But you can do this. You’re going to surprise yourself when you realise this was meant to be. You were meant to be a mum.”
Edited by Vidya Gowri Venkatesh.
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